I haven't had one of those since I lived with my parents. And even then, you wouldn't catch me actually calling it a home. More of house of torture and displeasure. But that's another story...
Recently, my travels in life have led me on an apartment hunt. You see, my rent is going to be raised if I renew my lease for another year. Month to month payments would be around a thousand dollars so I think it's tits or get the fuck out. And I'm all out of tits.
I'm a single person. I have only my pets to raise and they pretty much raise themselves nowadays, I merely feed them. Anyhow, I'm a single person. I live by myself and other efforts to live with others have proved fruitless. Quite simply, I do not play well with others. I'm OCD to a fault and it's usually my way or the highway... Or possible negotiations. But I like to live alone. There's less judgement in that.
In being the only person in my household, I am also the only income. I cannot get help from my tribe in order to find a place to live, I cannot get support from my tribe to help me move. Tulalip, with its many dollars, offers no help to it's single income tribal members. I'm sure there are many benefits and programs the tribe has to offer its members, sadly, I fit in none of them.
Or they want me to exhaust my per capita loan. I've already done that, I will not do it again. A loan is not the way out. Sometimes, it only complicates things.
I'm sure there is some way to cheat the system. I've heard stories; many tribal members to it, getting away with a lot of money they didn't earn nor deserve. However, therein lies the problem. I am too honest. Or too clumsy and offputting to properly get away with that.
Being single sucks. I like being singular, but there is no program out there that is designed to help me financially secure a place to live, or to help me if I come across bad times. It is very angering. On top of all the other anger I feel for humankind, there lies that one. Right on top of it.
And why not single people? We have no dependents (aside from pets), we could use the boost. There are all kinds of programs designed to help single mothers/fathers, and dual incomes definitely help with monthly payment but I am dead set against the idea of dating at this stage of my life. Plus, why would I date someone just for their paycheck so I can live somewhere? Doesn't seem worth it.
I hate feeling so defeated. I hate feeling so out of the norm. I'm not knocking anyone's lifestyle choice, I just feel very singled out (see what I did there?). I was interested in possibly buying my own house. I spent all of yesterday filling my stupid head with ideas of how awesome it would be to have something of my own. My own house, that's the tits! But with my recent luck (or lack thereof) I found myself being utterly defeated. I talked with someone within the tribe about mortgaging and with that information, I laid it all out and came to the conclusion that, I really cannot afford a house. Not right now. And if I'm in this job till the rest of my life, then not ever.
So it's back to apartment hunting, which I wasn't having a whole lot of luck with in the first place. I have been on a streak of misery and misfortune lately, I suppose that this should come as no shock. I just hate feeling dejected. I hate feeling screwed over.