Get outta here, creepster!

A very strange and unusual thing happened last night at the gym. It doesn't happen very often, these types of things and I was quite caught off guard.

I got hit on.



It was quite random. I didn't see it coming. I mean, this guy has made comments to me and my friends before when we were working out at the gym and racing mats. But this was different.

I was working out with Kimmeh last night. We had just finished up and were going to do some stretches and crunches and shit. We're laying on the mat, talking, doing our crunches when this guy comes up. He's in his fifties, dressed all in yellow like a big, walking eye sore, and I know he used to weigh a lot because my brother used to buy drugs from him. As I'm laying there, being poked by Kimmeh, this creepster looks down at me, towers down at me.

"You guys always havin' fun, always ticklin' each other," he said. I started giggling, and looked at Kimmeh.

"Yeah," I said.

"Ya know, you so beautiful. You are just so beautiful. Does anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are?"

I'm speechless because, as I'm laying there, with this old dood towering over me, I can see straight up his basketball shorts and I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry.

"Uh sometimes," I look to Kimmeh as she's trying to hold her laughter in.

"Well you so beautiful," he looks to Kimmeh now. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"She's purdy!" Kimmeh says, and we both start giggling.

"Man I wish I had a girlfriend as beautiful as you," he said. "I used to weigh 485 pounds. Then I started going to the gym and I started eatin' baby food. All the time, just eatin' baby food. And now I'm down to 153."

We congratulate him and he eventually walks away. I'm facepalming and laughing, as is Kimmeh. I tell her the news of my being able to see straight up his shorts. I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian now.

Later, when I'm leaving with my broooosef, I tell him what happened and he says, "Ugh, what! The chicken shack guy? GROSS!" I echo his sentiments and told him all that the weird guy said.

"The only reason he eats baby food is because his business went bust. It's all he could afford after that," my bro said. I giggle and then I cringe a little. I don't ever seem to attract anyone but old guys. Says a lot about my looks. Not good enough for the youngin's, but good enough for someone going through a midlife crisis.

At the end, this picture truly sums up how I feel...



~Suge