Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Paint Job

I have this project for class, ya see. It is to create the color wheel.

It looks simple right? I obviously have issues seeing colors because I always get my colors too dark. Not to mention, I'm an abstract painter and I'm fucking messy. My palette was a disaster.

You see, when I get into Sugey paint mode, it gets ugly. Suddenly, I'm thinking of color schemes that don't go together. I'm not in the right frame of mind. I'm insane! INSANE WITH PAINTS! It almost never ends well.

So, I'm doodling with my paints, trying to perfect certain colors and I look at my mess, which looks as though a baby came in and fucked with my paints. I'm decided it was time to stop because I was getting cranky at making my yellow green look more yellow than green and I was struggling trying to make the color purple.

 Uh no, not that color purple!

Yeah that's better...

So I decided I'll put it away for the night and get my ass to bed. I start cleaning up and I'm putting my paints away. I get up to clean my palette and when I come back I see the faintest spot of blue on the carpet. What could that be? I wondered. As I got closer, my suspicions were confirmed. It was blue paint.

FUCK! I yelled at, well, no one in particular. I ran into the kitchen and looked for the clorox wipes. I began scrubbing the floor, praying to some diety to help me get the stain out. I scrubbed till my arms were sore and had to wonder if I was doing this because I was OCD or if I just wanted to get my deposit on the apartment back. Whatever the reason, I was able to lift the paint from the carpet.

Satisfied, I went back to putting shit away when I get to the kitchen and see a blue spot on the ground in there. It's an epidemic! I thought to myself and grabbed another clorox wipe. Since it was on linoleum, it was easier to clean up. I honestly hadn't thought I was that messy. I'm usually much more careful when dealing with paints.

I go back into the living room, and yes, in a different spot, I see another bit of blue paint. I'm getting suspicious of an infestation.

I clean up that paint with another wipe and then I scratch my head. Something not right here!

I look at the bottoms of my feet, wondering if maybe I was dragging paint around from the first spot I saw. My feet were clean, well not that clean but they were free of paint. And then, it hit me. Like a ton of bricks.

Ruby, I say in a sinister voice. I began my search for her. She couldn't have gotten far. I mean, the apartment ain't all that big. I look in my bedroom and see her laying on my bed, she staring at me as if to say "You rang?" I pick her up and inspect her paws. I see nothing. Confused, I hold her for a minute while she noms my fingers, trying to figure out where this blue paint was coming from. I put her down and she runs away, giving me a dirty look and calling me a retard.

I put my hands on my hips to think and then I look at myself in the mirror. I have blue paint smeared on my arm. I look at this, and it's now covered with Ruby fur.

I run to grab Ruby again for a final inspection, of course, she thinks we're playing and runs circles around me. I finally get her and see that she had decided to dip her tail in the blue paint and had pretty much dragged it all around the apartment.

I took Ruby to the sink and cleaned her tail. She growled at me and then declared me evil. I finished with her and then scoured the house looking for more paint. Once I had gotten it all cleaned up, I was spent. I'd never scrubbed so much since the last time I cleaned out my sisters fridge!



  1. Yeah I was never fond of them motherfuckers either.