You've all seen them. It's 4am and you've been out drinking and dancing all night. Your stomach growls and you need something to soak up the alcohol churning inside. Walking the streets you realize that Sub Way is already closed and you're pissed. Looking around for something, ANYTHING, to feed the hunger from within and when you spot it. Tattered deck umbrella, line 4 people deep, and the smell of...well who really knows whats brewing in the roach coach and sauerkraut. It calls to you, it whispers sweet nothings to your tummy and you cross the street. You've just decided to eat a dirty water wiener.
Time after time I've warned my friends not to do it but they insist on taking chances. Dirty water hot dogs should never, on any occasion be enjoyed. Whatever the toppings, there is a good reason why these ghetto bologna rolls get covered in condiments. These things may look edible but they're just little tubes of intestinal trouble waiting to happen. Bacteria swarming around inside the mystery meat wands of death, hoping that you're drunk enough to put one in your unsuspecting mouth. You might think the 4 pints of whiskey and coke is enough to kill whatever lurks in the hot dog water, but it's not...nothing is! This stuffs been brewing for months, night after night, hot dog after hot dog. In the cold night air, heating time and time again so the layer of floating fat doesn't form a crust between the poor sap serving you and the dogs of deception. Jose, I'm sorry but your cart of botulism must be driven off a cliff.
Save a life, refuse the wiener.
~Kimmeh~
Kimme, you are so right and I thank you for this PSA (public service announcement). My best friend works for the City of L.A. as a public safety officer. One of his many tasks is busting the unlicensed street vendors downtown. One of his targets was a guy who had a little grill set up and was selling bacon-wrapped hotdogs. Unfortunately, my friend found a dead kitten in the cooler alongside the wieners. The lesson? Step away from the wiener cart: it could save your life!
ReplyDeleteOk, agreed. But our local falafel truck - now *that* is awesomeness!
ReplyDeleteI'd never weiner you kimmeh. Never.
ReplyDelete